Hud the Stud

A few days after Hudson's birth, I ask my nurse if I could walk down to see him. Hudson had spent some time in the NICU and was finally out, but now he was stuck in the nursery under the bilirubin lights to treat his jaundice. I was really missing him. But since I was still recovering from an emergency C-section, I had been told to call for a nurse when I was ready to walk to the nursery. I found that slightly annoying, and felt confident I could handle the walk on my own, but I was compliant. After all, I was still wearing the bright yellow wristband with the words FALL RISK in bold, black letters. As my nurse accompanied me to check on Hudson, she gently inquired whether I had known about his Down syndrome diagnosis before his birth. Her question caught me off guard, but I answered her honestly: yes, I had known. She smiled softly and nodded, as if she had anticipated my response. This simple exchange has lingered in my mind for nearly seven years. It’s the knowing smile that really intrigued me. I wondered how she knew? And it finally struck me… She was likely accustomed to caring for mothers who were distraught upon learning their child had Down syndrome. She may have comforted mothers who sobbed with fear and disbelief; Mothers in shock, struggling to connect with their babies. I imagine that weighed heavily on her. But that was not the case with me. Instead of fear, she saw love in my eyes. Instead of shock, she witnessed wonder. Instead of disbelief, she encountered joy. Instead of disconnect, she saw a mother who didn’t want to put her son down, even for a minute; One who was content to hold and stare at her beautiful boy all day long. But that’s only because I had six months to prepare my heart for his diagnosis. Had she been in my bedroom the day I got the call from my OB/GYN, she would have seen me on the floor in a puddle of my own tears. Had she been in my living room, at 5 months pregnant, when I finally had the house all to myself, she would have heard me crying out to God asking Him why this, why me, why now? Those 6 months allowed me to gradually release those initial fears and doubts. By the time I finally held Hudson in my arms, all that anxiety had melted away. I am grateful that the nurse got to see my reaction. I can only imagine how challenging it must be for healthcare professionals to discharge mothers, sending them home with their newborns, while uncertainty looms over their faces. It must be difficult to not be able to follow up and witness how their journeys unfold. So, to all the nurses, doctors and healthcare professionals who may get the chance to care for a mother who has just delivered a baby with Down syndrome, please know this: she will be okay. It may take time, but the joy will come. Honor her emotions without pity; she will soon discover that she has hit the jackpot in ways she never expected. #downsyndromelove #laboranddelivery

We just wanted a video of Hudson showing off his Disney outfit, but he refused to do it unless we all did it first. 😆 #disneyfit #downsyndromerocks

We were in Orlando for a week of Disney park hopping and celebrating Hudson‘s birthday, and this is how he woke up his sisters every morning, who were in the adjoining room next-door. #disneyparks #wakeupcall #Siblings #sleepingbeauty @Marriott Hotels #LIVEIncentiveProgram #LIVEIsEasy #PaidPartnership

Surprise! @bahamabucks @carolinej419

My parents are seriously the cutest ever. #lovestory #TrueLove #partnersforlife #icons

One morning, a few days after the doctor called with the Down syndrome diagnosis, Ryan softly said, “I don’t think I can do this, Jenn.” “Well, you’re gonna have to.” Was all I could say. Truthfully, I was struggling with the thought of being a special needs mother myself, but I didn’t have the guts to say that out loud and I was ticked off that he did. Neither of us were handling the diagnosis very well, and we were processing it all very differently. He showed his feelings outwardly, and I kept mine hidden. He held onto hope that it wasn’t true, and I never doubted it. He wanted to know everything about Down syndrome, and I didn’t want to think about it. It was a long, hard pregnancy. So rough, I was worried what would happen to us after the baby arrived. How were we going to manage being the parents of a child with Down syndrome, when we couldn’t handle being pregnant with one? It was the storm I never saw coming. But the storm ended. It ended as quickly as it started and was replaced with a beautiful rainbow. And that rainbow was our son, Hudson. God sent the first rainbow as a visual reminder of His faithfulness and mercy, and to show off His glory and power. And that is exactly how we feel about Hudson. The diagnosis that brought us so much despair became the unexpected joy of our lives. Ryan didn’t think he could do this. But he’s not only doing it, he’s rocking it!

Hudson and I had to go check out the new Bahama Bucks in Jacksonville Beach and spy on his big sister who just started working there. If you know their menu, we were kind of boring with what we ordered. They have some crazy fun concoctions! 🩷💚🩵 @bahamabucks

People say Disney is expensive, but moments like these are priceless. 🥹 ##disneyparks##donaldduck##waltdisneyworld##disneyworld##LIVEIsEasy##janieandjack@@Janie and Jack@@Disney Parks

Showing off his muscles at the end. 🥰🗡️🪨💪 #swordandthestone #disneyworld #disneyparks #excalibur #legend #downsyndromewarrior